What is more painful than losing a loved one to death? A loved one forever hidden from sight, forever kept in the darkness and coldness of the earth, where the only hope is in the resurrection morn, when the righteous shall be awaken from the grave? But the question is: Will I make it to the resurrection morn? And if I’ll make it, will I see her in the first resurrection?
Six years had passed when I lost a best friend. Her death left me broken and afraid to explore new friendships. My heart was filled with pain and regrets. Many things were left unsaid, undone and the thought of that crushed my heart.
This tragedy brought a change in me. I distanced my self from friendship. I was too afraid to be too attached thinking that I may lose them and be left in pain again. I thought of it now as a selfish act; but I was consumed by grief and sorrow. I lost a friend, and the pain was all I could hear and feel.
However, hiding in a mask of assumed strength, I managed to go along with old friends and meet new friends. I realized that I did not have difficulty making new friends. The problem was in trusting them and opening up to them. For a time, I gathered for my self superficial friendships; and mastered the art of being a superfical, passive friend.
Thankfully, the story of my recovery did not continue as miserable as that. Like a shepherd, God pulled me back on track. He let the sun shine again on me. Gently, He taught me how to trust again and opened my eyes to see beauty in each person I would meet.
Oftentimes, we cuddle in pain, as if having it is the only way to get through. Ironically, we soak our selves in bitter tears to feel relief. It’s as if dwelling in the past and the hurt it has takes away the guilt of not being the friend, the husband, the wife, the daughter, the son, the brother, or the sister that we should be.
Back in the antiquity of time, someone, a big One – the Holy One, lost an object of love. After lavishing the one He loves with so much comfort and ease, that object of love – His wonderful creation, a creature created in His image, doubted and disobeyed Him. What a loss. Man disobeyed. Sin ruled. Satan reigned like a prowling lion “seeking whom he may devour.” (1Peter 5:8)
Nevertheless, did God distanced Himself cuddling in pain and misery for man chose to disobey His command? No! He didn’t. Ellen G. White penned,
God did not ordain that sin should exist, but He foresaw its existence, and made provision to meet the terrible emergency. -{The Desire of Ages, p. 23}
Instead of drawing Himself away from us, He drew us to Himself that we might not perish.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. -{John 3:16}
He gave! He bled! He died! For what? That He might have us back. Was there ever a tint of selfishness in this act of God or even in the heart of God? There was none. None but love; for He is love. (1John 4:8)
I am owed at the magnificence of His love. There is no pit so deep that His love cannot reach. As He promised Israel, He promises us today:
But if ye turn unto me, and keep my commandments, and do them; though there were of you cast out unto the uttermost part of the heaven, yet will I gather them from thence, and will bring them unto the place that I have chosen to set my name there.-{Nehemiah 1:9}
Learning this, I understood the principle of real friendship or any relationships for that matter. Friendship is a form ministry. It is not so much about taking or receiving. It is more about giving and blessing. If all we have in mind is taking something from the other, we will never have enough. We will never be satisfied for we are broken pieces that only God can mend and fill. Instead, like cups and vessels, we receive from God and give to others without asking for return; for we have been filled in His love.
When we do this, no tragedy too grievous can break us; for we do not take from the world, we receive from Christ and are filled in Christ.
Friends, let us love as Jesus did. Let us serve as He did. Let us renounce selfishness and embrace selflessness.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: -{Philippians 2:5}
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